Are you studying abroad in Germany and looking to find your soul mate in Germany? This German dating guide is for you and My Career will point out the German dating culture, etiquette, dos and don’ts!

How to meet and date in Germany?

Of course, before starting any dating, the biggest challenge is meeting a worthy person, especially a foreigner.

Let’s look at some numbers from the latest marriage study conducted in Germany. 

Germans prefer to date within their social circle. They often listen to and trust the judgment of their friends. So it’s no surprise that the number one answer in the survey was that 26% met their partner through friends. This was followed by online dating sites and apps (23%) and meeting at a party, bar or nightclub (14%). 

When it comes to same-sex couples, meeting through friends is only second at 29%, followed by dating websites and apps at 39%. The third most popular way to meet a same-sex partner is through social and hobby clubs.

How to Date in Germany?

Compared to other countries known for their dating cultures, like Italy and France, Germans are more cerebral than emotional. That can be tiring, but also refreshing, depending on what you’re used to and what you’re looking for. Here are the 10 most common elements of German dating culture.

1. Dating in Germany with a local doesn’t have to be romantic at first

When you agree to meet a German alone, you can consider it a romantic date. On the contrary, Germans will consider it as getting to know each other better without deciding whether to take the relationship further or not.

2. Dating a German must be faithful

When dating a German, the worst thing you can do is date someone else at the same time. Germans don’t mess around, and when they give you their precious time and energy, they wholeheartedly expect the same from you.

Hanging out with someone else at the same time is like cheating and conveys that you’re not really interested. 

3. You Must Be Punctual For The Days

Germans are very punctual. Germans are punctual for almost everything, including dates. Being late is frowned upon and will end a potential relationship before it even begins. Instead, show up five to ten minutes early to make a good impression.

4. Be Ready for Honest and Direct Conversations

Germans are very direct. They speak their mind, even when it comes to dating. They will tell you how they feel and whether you are their type. On the other hand, Germans mean what they say and mean what they say. So if a German tells you they like you, they really like you. 

5. Gender Equality Is Important In Dating In Germany

Gender equality is very important in Germany. A man’s expectation that a German woman be a stay-at-home mom when dating is a slap in the face to her. A man who has a problem with a woman who earns more than him should reconsider dating in Germany. 

6. Who Pays the Bill on the First Day in Germany?

“Do German guys pay for dates?” is one of the most common questions asked by expats. The answer is no. Due to strong gender equality, it is common to split the bill on a first date in Germany. 

Asking a woman out on a first date is considered a sign of disrespect. After that, Germans tend to talk about finances and lay out the rules for how things should be handled. It is also quite common for men and women to invite each other to dinner. Maintaining equality in your relationship and finances is quite important when dating in Germany.

7. Love Your Independence

Apart from the emphasis on equality in relationships, Germans love their independence. Don’t be surprised if things move slowly. Germans who are dating still maintain their normal lifestyle, going to sports groups, meeting friends. And it’s rare that they’re all about you, and they don’t want you to be!

8. There Are No Written Rules

There are no rules about what to do on the first, second or third date in Germany. When to kiss, when to have sex and when to say ?I love you?. Germans do all of the above when they feel it is right and they mean it, at least when they are looking for a serious relationship and not just flirting.

9. Traveling Together? Yes or No? 

Germans love to travel and will expect you to travel with them. However, at the same time, they will also expect you to respect them when they travel with friends without you. Don’t be jealous? Remember the importance of independence. A German will take you very seriously when they visit your home country with you. 

10. Be Prepared to Plan Your Life

Germans value planning in all aspects of life. When dating a German, you should start keeping a schedule, as Germans plan weeks, months, and even years in advance. Above all, when Germans commit to an event or accept an invitation, they mean it and expect all parties involved to stick to it. Germans will never say yes to something they know they won’t follow through with.

Serious Relationship With A German

Be prepared to be a little patient when dating a German. Just like there are no rules about when to kiss, have sex, etc., there are also no rules about how many days it takes to make a relationship official. 

Marrying a German

When it comes to marriage, Germans are a private people. According to a recent wedding study, 36% of all proposals take place at home and 29% while on vacation. And 18% of German couples get married without an actual proposal. For 96% of Germans, the biggest reason to get married is love. 

Wondering who usually initiates? In straight couples, traditionally it’s still the man (75%), and only 3% of German women take gender equality to the next level. 

So, dating in Germany seems to have quite a few differences compared to Vietnam. Especially when your other half is a native. All of the above is of course not true in all cases but it is the majority nowadays. 

For more useful information about life in Germany and studying in Germany, follow My Career Vietnam now!!!